jokes

Who Is Braver?
Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing 'Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!""YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general."Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing 'Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off."YES SIR!!" replies the seaman. He sprints for the flagpole with the weapon high over his head, and completes the task perfectly."Now that's courage!" says the admiral."Courage, nothin'" snorts the Army general. "Get over here, private!""YES SIR!!" replies the private."Put on full combat gear, load your rucksack with these rocks, scale that flagpole, come to attention, present arms, and sing the National Anthem, salute each of us, and then climb back down, head first.""YES SIR!!" replies the private, and completes the task."Now that is a brave man! Beat that!!"They all look to the Marine. "Private," he says."YES SIR!!""Put on full combat gear. Put these two dogs in your pack. Using only one hand, climb that flagpole. At the top, sing 'The Halls of Montezuma', put your knife in your teeth, and dive off, headfirst."The private snaps to attention, looks at the general and says, "FUCK YOU SIR!!"The general turns to the others and says, "Now THAT'S bravery



Violet, indigo, blue and green, yellow, orange and red; these are the colors you have seen after the storm has fled.What am I?



A father's child, a mother's child, yet no one's son.Who am I.


There is a frog, dead in the middle of an island. If he swims north, the distance to the mainland is 2 metres. If he swims south, the distance to the mainland is 3 metres. If he swims east or west, the distance is 4 metres. Which way does he swim?


A 6-foot tall Magician had a water glass and was holding the glass above his head. He let it drop to the carpet without spilling a single drop of water. How could he manage to drop the glass from a height of six feet and not spill a drop of water?


Which bird does not belong in this group?finch, gull, eagle, ostrich, sparrow


What word doesn't belong in this group?that, hat, what, mat, cat, sat, pat, chat


I have no voice and yet I speak to you, I tell of all things in the world that people do. I have leaves, but I am not a tree, I have pages, but I am not a bride or royalty. I have a spine and hinges, but I am not a man or a door, I have told you all, I cannot tell you more. What am I?


Take off my skin - I won't cry, but you will! What am I?


A Lesson in Politics A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy.Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner.Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now.""Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."